Well, this is my last day home for this week and my last long weekend until probably around May. We get two holidays in May, Truman's birthday on the 8th and then Memorial Weekend. I know, Truman's birthday is one of those bogus birthdays but hey....what can I say? Don't be a hater!
Storms are to be coming in and sounds like we are going to be having ice and snow along with sleet. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Hope it is short lived, am not wanting any of that stuff in my life at all! Josh has been working out of town since Thursday and is coming home today. I am wanting to stick around before I go back down to Springfield to see him but don't want to travel after dark. Hopefully he will be home early afternoon and all will be okay.
As I was driving down to Springfield today, I didn't turn the radio on until I was almost down here. Did a bunch of soul searching. All I can do is take it to my higher power, and He will allow it to happen if that is the direction I need to take. I let things bother me to much sometimes and things people say cut into me. I should be the better person and let it just roll off but with the verbal abuse, mental abuse and physical abuse of my past lives, it is hard. I am no different than anyone else though that has been through worse than I, so I need to buck up and not let the words hurt. I grew up though, with the guilt trips that a mother can instill on her child to make them obey and those have continued to stay with me. The shame of the dreaded guilt trips.
Don't get me wrong though. My mom was a good mom, I should have been disciplined more than I actually was. Seriously, I got away with murder. In my entire childhood I only got two spankings and they probably weren't really spankings. One, I don't even remember what I did but I ran away from her and climbed a tree. Well, I had to come down out of that tree and the spanking pursued. The other time I was tormenting my little niece Renada. She was 9 years younger than I and was a pain in my backside when we were growing up. She adored me and why not??? I was cool and she wanted to be like me. Well, I was doing something mean, I am sure, and my mom swatted me with the yard stick to make me stop. She probably should have used the belt but my mom wasn't a physical abuser. I am sure the guilt trip after Renada left was far worse than the swatting. LOL.
Speaking of Renada, I am so glad we did grow up together because we are close now. When I came back to Mo and started hanging around the family again there were a lot of things I noticed that Renada does that is the same as me. One of them is crazy but she likes mustard on her sandwiches. I always liked mustard, never mayo or salad dressing. Not even ketchup that well, still am like that. She loves the smell of patchouli, probably from all the incense I use to burn in my room. One time I was unpacking some stuff that mom had given me and I lived with the last pond scum I lived with. Anyway, I was unpacking my stuff and pulled out the incense burner. He goes, "You aren't going to let Josh see that, are you?" I'm like what? It's an incense burner. I think he thought it was a pipe to smoke dope out of or something. Idiot.
Well, if nothing else this has made me feel better after writing in it. I go to a retirement meeting tomorrow to hear what I need to do. I've had two other's scheduled but have missed them, I don't plan to miss this one. Sounds like we are going to get a pretty bad ice storm in town tomorrow night. Sounds like Harrisonville area may get some too but mainly snow. We'll see, it all may miss us all. I will talk to you guys tomorrow and take care. Love you all.
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